My Shadow

My shadow explores the darkness inside of me and how it paralysed me for most of my life.

The shadow that lives within wants to be in control. It was so loud inside my mind that I couldn’t hear anything else.

Listen. Learn. Love.

You’ve led me to believe I am nothing more
Than a shadow of existence, an etched outline on the floor

Living this life inside shadowy darkness
Afraid to find the light, your words have me harnessed

Lurking about loud and clear
Repeatedly disparaging, it is all I can hear

The words you condemn to me inside my mind
Are cruel and severe, unpleasant and unkind

No other remarks made their way to my attention
Ensuring your own voice resounded, restraining my retention

In the rush of years past, you became noisier and noisier
Such harshness was spoken, it became easier and easier

You told me to hate myself and obsess about my body
You convinced me I was hopeless, so I ended up sloppy

Panic became the norm, anxiety sweating out into my essence
Another sun rising up saw a girl serving her penance

Punishment routine, afflicting anguish straight to my heart
The shadow closed on in, forcing love to enduringly depart

Opinion never faltered, you are all I’ve ever known
No notion to deny you, a single picture framed and shown

Despair deep in the darkness, questioning how to pull me out
I’ve had enough of shadows, embodiment without such fear and doubt

A silent word does whisper its important news to hear
From the other side a message, listen to it faint and clear

The shadow does not contain single truth to be told
Accumulation cultivated, harshness turning your heart cold

Undo all that was done, a strength hidden beneath debris
Step out of your own shadow, loving heart offers up the key

Listen to the quiet, mute the noise inside your head
Do not believe the shadows or the words they cruelly said

Accept this is a part of you, love the total sum of weight
Express Divine amendment show off power to create

Affirm your independence, light that shadow warm and bright
Let go and be inspired to rekindle and ignite

Raising Love
Listen. Learn. Love

This book came to be from every part of my life experience. Every heartache. Every hateful thought. Every self-loathing feeling. And, every bit of love that I denied to myself. In reading the words on these pages, my hope is you, too, recognise some parts of yourself and realise there is so much more to who you are than what you believe. Be open to what may come to you whilst you are absorbed in the heartache, the loneliness, the sadness, the misery, the hope, the reflection, the spirit and the love in this collection of poems and short stories.

Buy the Book Here

Use the button below to read and watch more poems about the love/hate/hate relationship I have had with myself and my body over the last few decades of my life.

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