Hi, I’m Kelly and welcome to the Raising Love podcast. Raising love within yourself as only you can.

Brought to you by LOVE body and the Positively You program.

How are you on this beautiful day?

How was your morning? Did you feel like there was not enough time again? Did you spend most of your morning stressing and getting wound up at all the things that needed doing but you just couldn’t get them all done?

And, this stressed out, anxious and worried feeling stayed with you for the whole day causing even more stress and anxiety, and the feeling that there just isn’t enough time and you can’t get everything done, there’s too much to do; so this vicious cycle of stress and worry, and not enough time and too much to do lays heavy within you and you don’t know how to get out of it or what to do to make it go away.

This used to be me not all that long ago really.

I would try to fit in all that I wanted and needed to do before my daughter woke up and then spend the rest of the morning stressing about all the things I still had to do to get her to school and I would freak out, get stressed and then yell and go nuts because things weren’t happening quick enough or I was running out of time.

I knew I was being ridiculous and that I was behaving in a way that only amped up my anxiety and stress levels. I was stuck in that cycle.

And the worst part was, I was yelling at my daughter for no reason because I couldn’t get my shit together. Because I was trying to do too much. Because I believed I had to do EVERYTHING before I took her to school.

See, a part of my identity for a long time was to be the responsible one. I had to be responsible for all of it. Which actually led me to being quite controlling as well. It was my way only. I knew best because I was responsible.

I was a mother and a wife, I had to work and I had a house to run. Just your typical woman’s life.

But I was overwhelmed. I felt like I had to take it all on and this caused me to lose my shit nearly every morning because I actually couldn’t do it all. I was being very unrealistic with myself and my expectations.

Which I think a lot of us are. But these expectations not only come from ourselves, they come from our family, our loved ones, society and society’s rules. These fucked up rules which I talk about more back in episode 9 The Mould & The Rules.

There is so much pressure on us as women, as mothers to be perfect, to do it all and to do it perfectly whilst looking perfect.

This pressure begins the minute we wake up. Before we even open our eyes the pressure beings.

The shitty voice in our head starts in on us. Telling us how terrible we are because we didn’t lose 5 kilos yesterday like we promised ourselves we would, that we suck because we didn’t get to the gym and burn off all those nasty calories we ate at lunch, that we are stupid because we didn’t remember to buy a couple of things when we went to the supermarket, that we have no willpower because we decided to binge watch our new favourite show of going to bed early and now we are sooooo tired…

And the list goes on. All of these shitty, horrible thoughts run through our head in only a few seconds and we haven’t even opened our eyes yet.

No wonder we get out of bed feeling crappy and stressed out already.

We are way too hard on ourselves. There is no relief. These thoughts are constant. And for each of us the thoughts are going to be different but yet the theme is the same.

I’m hopeless, I suck and I am not worthy of a great day. A great life.

And, this repeats. Every single day of your life.

Until you do something about it. Until you realise you CAN do something about it. That you don’t have to remain in this pressure cooker. You don’t have to stay stuck win your shitty thoughts.

That you can create your love body day that is full of love and kindness and calmness. That no matter what the day throws at you, you have the power to react in a kind, loving and clam way.

Because you have already decided before you got out of bed how you are going to FEEL today.

And that’s what it really comes down to. Feelings. Your feelings.

There are some people in this world who are so calm and collected and you never see them lose their shit. Then there are others, like me, who don’t know how to NOT lose their shit.

I was raised on anger. So that’s what my main feeling became. I don’t remember much of the good stuff from my parents. I only remember being yelled at and made to feel as though everything I did was wrong.

I wasn’t taught how to express my emotions effectively or even communicate them appropriately.

I only knew how to express myself with anger. I was sad, I got angry. I felt a bit happy, I replaced it with anger. I was overwhelmed, I declared it with anger.

My feelings were not important and this made me angry. I believed no one gave a shit about how I really felt so I just showed my anger. It was my go-to emotion. And I hated it. I hated exploding like I did when all I really wanted was a hug or some comfort or a bit of love.

I hated not being able to say what I really wanted to say, so my words were always full of anger. I was so much easier for me to be the angry person than to be the kind and loving person I longed to be.

Fear held me back. Fear of being rejected. Again. And again, and again. I was rejected by the people who were supposed to love me the most. So I wasn’t about to let anyone else reject me.

So I stayed in my anger. And this anger flew through me on a daily basis. It was there every single morning when I woke up.

It consumed my thoughts.

I wanted to stop but I didn’t know how.

And, whatever emotion it is for you that consumes you on a daily basis, that rules your day, that rules your life, that takes you to a place you are sick of going; I want you to acknowledge it. I want you to accept that this emotion has been a part of you for however long.

Don’t deny it because that will only hold you back from moving forward.

All emotions are not bad or good. All emotions are simply that. Emotions we feel when something happens in our life. We enter into a situation and it causes us to FEEL something inside our mind and our body. But most emotions come from past experience. They are old feelings that rise up inside of us because this situation is very similar to a situation that has happened before.

Very rarely do we enter a situation with a completely clear mind and body. That is our thoughts and feelings do not persuade how we react to what is going on. No. There are old thoughts and feelings which influence us in this new situation.

Did you know that we have thousands of thoughts per day. There are differing numbers on how many we actually have. The number ranges for 6,000 – 70,000. Even at 6,000 that is still a lot of thoughts. But 95% of those thoughts are the exact smell thoughts as the day before and the day before that and the day before that.
They are thoughts that have been swirling around inside your mind for YEARS. Probably even decades.

And for this reason, you wake up every morning and the replay button gets pressed and away you go.

Are you exhausted from thinking the same things over and over and over again. I know I was.

I got to the point where I really couldn’t take it anymore. I was tired of my whole life being on repeat. I was tired of not feeling in control of what I was thinking, what I was feeling and what I was doing with myself.

Something major had to change. But what? How?

These are the answers I set out to look for. How could I change myself, my insides so that I could create the life I wanted?

I didn’t want to yell at my daughter unnecessarily anymore. At all, really. She didn’t deserve that. I was raised in that way and it changed me so much that I became skilled with anger. I couldn’t do that to her.

But, this wasn’t so much for her. It was for me. Because if I could create a better version of myself from the moment I woke up then that would have the most wonderful impact on myself, obviously, and everyone around me as well.

I wouldn’t be that crazy, angry person anymore who couldn’t handle myself or what life was giving to me.

I wanted to be calmer and kinder and more in control of my emotions, rather than be controlling.

In my search for what I needed I found many, many things.

I discovered meditation, yoga, fitness, nutrition, sleep, fun, energy medicine, chakra healing, mindfulness, forgiveness, gratitude and appreciation, love for myself, inner work, EFT, belief clearing, journaling and the list goes on.

It’s an extensive list right.

And guess what? This caused me more overwhelm and more anxiety because I was still trying to do it all, whilst still being a mother, wife, working, running a home. And I still felt as though there was never enough time to do it all.

How could I fit all of this new stuff into my life that I knew was so beneficial to my healing and to my growth and to me having a happy and joyful day, instead of a crazy and angry day?

I stressed about it. I worried about it. All the experts were telling me I had to meditate every day and I had to exercise and tap away my stuck emotions with EFT and I had to forgive myself and my past and be grateful for every little thing in my life.

I was teaching this stuff. Because I believe in it. I do wholeheartedly believe in ALL of it.

But how do I create the kind of day I want? How do I create a day where I feel like I am fulfilled and joyful and all of the things I want to be, I want to do?

Because the experts don’t know me, they don’t know my life, they don’t know what I like and what I don’t like.

They have no idea. But I do. I didn’t EXACTLY know what I wanted, but what I did know was that I wanted to find out.

I had to find out because I could not go on living with all of the overwhelm and stress and anxiety and anger that I was allowing to consume my day.

That’s why I created the Love Body Day.

I am the type of person who likes to see what’s coming and see it written down.

I love a good list. I love creating them.

The Love Body Day has evolved as I have gotten more in touch with my SELF and what it is I want for my life, for my day.

I have tried lost of different things and I have now narrowed it down to a few that get me to a joyful, calm place every morning.

It isn’t perfect and it is ever evolving. And that is ok.

Life changes, shit happens and we need to be able to go with the flow.

You day doesn’t have to be a shit show. It doesn’t have to be one stressed out moment after the other.

What do you want your day to be? What do you want it to look like? FEEL like?

We can’t control everything in our day but the one thing we can always control are our feelings. Your feelings are a reaction to what is happening for you. And when you react from a past experience those feelings can become out of control.

So, by writing down how you want to feel thought your day, then you have already set yourself up to feel that way. And should another feeling come into play and you think it is taking control, then you are going to remind yourself that you have chosen to feel a particular way and you’ll bring ourself back too that feeling quicker than you might normally be able to do.

So, to create your own love body day; begin with how you want to feel. How do you want to feel the moment you come out of sleep. Your ego will do everything in its power to bring you back to how you usually feel, because it is safe there. This new feeling is weird and uncomfortable, your ego doesn’t like it.

So be aware of thoughts and other feelings trying to take over. CHOOSE to allow yourself to feel your new feeling.

And what can you incorporate into your day to enhance this new feeling?

What foods can you nourish yourself with?

Plan out your meals for the day so there is no surprise, no fighting with your willpower and no chance of you making a choice that will take you back to your old feelings.

How do you want to move your body today?

What do you love about yourself today?

What can I try that is new to strengthen this feeling?

What fun will I have today?

It really does come down to how you FEEL. If you get the feeling, then everything else will feel easy and calm.

My day no longer begins with me feeling shitty about myself, with anger filling my whole body. I can use my feeling, the feeling I have chosen to feel; which is JOY, to inspire my day to be better.

When ager does come back or it wants to take over, I can simply remind myself that joy is my feeling and I bring myself back to this beautiful feeling.

I have been using this particular feeling for a few weeks now and it gets easier and easier to bring myself back, and I can do it more quickly too.

And best of all. It feels good knowing I don’t have to stay stuck in anything I don’t want to. I have the power to choose. I have the power to release and I have the power to be whatever that fuck I want to be.

No body can take that away from me. No body will ever decided how I feel again.

So you power move this week, beautiful, is to grab your very own copy of the love body day planner and begin creating your love body day.

CHOOSE your feeling and become it. No more shitty days. No more stressed out mornings. No more anxious moments worrying about not having enough time or not knowing what to do to feel better.

You get to decide all of it. Find a few things you love and so them. Get help wherever you can to reduce your huge to-do list and allow yourself the freedom of creating a day for yourself that belongs to you. Not your ego and her devious ways to keep you stuck.

Thank you so much for listening, beautiful. This really is a dream come true for me.

I spent so much of my life being quiet, not speaking up, staying small that I forgot I have a voice worth listening to.

You may not always agree with what I say and that’s ok.

This is a conversation between us. Yes, I have lots to say but I also want to hear what you have to say.

So, leave me a comment, email me your thoughts, get in touch and let me know what conversations you’d like to have, what your thoughts are about this podcast.

But before you go, just a reminder to grab your free 7 day Love Body Day planner.

It’s time to CHOOSE a more empowered and loving day.

So, please pop on over to the home page of my website lovebody.com.au, leave your details and this awesome planner will arrive in your inbox ASAP.

If you loved this episode, please share it with your friends and family.

Please remember, it’s time to start cultivating, nurturing and raising love within yourself.

Because, you are a smart, amazing, beautiful woman with so much to offer this world.

Continue raising love. Speak soon.