Hi, I’m Kelly and welcome to the Raising Love podcast. Raising love within yourself like only you can.

And this episode I will be talking about a concept that is dear to me. A concept I feel is so important for women to know.

I call it Behind the Body.

Because for far too long we have been led to believe that all we are as women is a body.

A body that must look a certain way and act a certain way.

And if it doesn’t, then it cannot participate in society. It must hide away and be ashamed of itself.

That a women’s body is to be used for a man’s pleasure. That it is only in existence for the sexual pleasure of man.

And this bullshit rule, this made up nonsense, this absolute fucking joke of a lie needs to be changed.

See, growing up I was fat. I started to really put on weight when I was about 13. And by the time I became a young woman I was obese.

And during these formative years I was constantly led to believe that I was nothing.

I was fat, I was ugly, I was worthless. All because my body did not look a certain way.

I couldn’t get it to look thin and beautiful. No matter how hard I tried and the harder I hoped and prayed to be thin and beautiful the more worthless I felt. I felt lost. I felt alone. I felt like nothing.

I wanted to disappear. So I ate away my feelings and I became larger and larger.

But the irony is the larger you get, the more invisible you become.

No one wants to talk to a fat person. Fat people are not worthy of anyones time.

Only the thin and beautiful people get noticed. They are the worthy ones.

They are the ones who get the boyfriend, the perfect job, the perfect life.

The fat ones, the one’s who’s body do not meet society’s requirements, get left behind, they get forgotten, they get teased and they’re left feeling like they don’t matter.

All because of their body.

But behind their body is a woman, a girl, a teenager who wanted to feel loved and accepted. Who wants to feel as though she has a place in this world. Who wants to feel as though there is more to her than what she looks like.

And I am so grateful to be living in the year 2021 because this is all beginning to shift. The change is upon us.

I have gone through what I went through to get to this point. To learn all I could about being a woman who has hated her body for almost her entire life. To get a better understanding of why I experienced all of that hurt and anger and frustration and depression.

I have made it through the other side but you may not be there yet. You may still be wading through the bullshit, feeling like you are getting nowhere.

Which is why I had to release this podcast. For you. To show you there is another way. To give you a new way of thinking; about yourself, about your life, about the world.

Because you are so much more than your body.

If you feel as though your body is forever holding you back until when… when you get skinny, you get thin, you get a six pack, you get toned arms, you get sculpted legs.

I am here to challenge those thoughts and confront them. And, the ultimate goal, hopefully, is to change them.

You have so much inside of you ready to bring forth into this world. You have so much love and joy bursting to get out.

You have so much life to live but if you wait until when, your life will pass you by.

Your life will keep moving in a forward direction but you’ll only be sitting in the passenger seat as a shadowy version of you drives your life.

You are allowed to take control of your life and move yourself into the drivers seat.

As you are RIGHT NOW.

Your body is beautiful as it is right now.

Your body is amazing as it is right now.

Your body is perfect as it is right now.

In saying all of that. The behind the body concept is not just for those of us who were once the fat girl or who may still be the fat girl.

And, as a former fat girl who still mostly identifies as a fat girl, I can say with all honesty that even those women who are our ideal weight, who have the perfect body, who seemingly have it all; also must deal with societies body requirements. They just have somehow managed to achieve it.

But it doesn’t mean they aren’t hurting just as much as the fat girl. They’re just hurting and dealing in a different way because they too must live by this body requirement. As all women must.

So, whatever your body size, it is time to stand up and say enough.

Let everyone know that we will no longer be living by this body requirement. That we have our own requirement. And it’s personal and unique to each and everyone of us.

And, behind each and every body on this beautiful planet of ours, is a woman who is smart, funny, capable, strong, loving, desirable, passionate, beautiful, sexy, empowered and most definitely worthwhile.

We will no longer tolerate others telling us how our body should look. What it must do, that it is only there for other people’s pleasure.

Gosh, even a woman who is breastfeeding her child cannot do so because it might give men or children the wrong idea. That women are only doing it to entice men and show themselves sexually.

The whole purpose of women’s boobs are to nourish a growing baby. To feed them. That is the only reason why women have boobs.

But at some point in our history they became a sexual object. Along with the rest of a woman’s body.

Women have been accosted and interfered with because of their body.

Women have been hurt and harmed because of their body.

Women have been ashamed and tormented because of their body.

And who gets the blame for all of this?

The woman.

It is the woman’s responsibility to use her body for the purpose of entertaining a man in any way he pleases.

But she must do so without a word. She must not speak up. She must remain silent so as not to upset the apple cart.

I remember back when I was 25 years old and I was living in London.

A few friends and I went on a bus tour to Germany for Oktoberfest. One night we were sitting at the campsites outdoor area, having a couple of drinks.

There were a few people there as well and a couple of guys were talking to us.

I distinctly remember only having two beers as were were sitting down at the outdoor table talking to these two guys.

The next thing I know, I came to. I looked down at myself and I am completely naked in their tent and one of the guys is having sex with me. And the other guy was in the tent as well.

I had no idea what was happening or how I got there. It was really surreal. I felt drunk but I knew I only had 2 beers before my memory blacked out.

I was quite naive at that age to be honest and I really didn’t have much of an idea about drinks being spiked. So it wasn’t until a few years later that I understood more about what happened to me that night.

I did pay them back as I vomited all through their tent and on their belongings.

But, I never told anyone. To this day I think I’ve only told my husband. But the day after it happened I felt absolutely messed up. I couldn’t process what had happened and even now it feels like it was a dream.

But, even though my body was not this perfect, thin and beautiful thing, I was still a target of this awful, totally disgusting thing. event. I don’t even know what to call it.

I mention this, because as a women having to deal with something so confusing and distressing all on my own; cemented my conclusion about a woman’s place in this world. That we are nothing more than a body and not worthy of any real love.

I pushed it to the back of my mind and pretended it didn’t happen. Which is what a lot of women do when something like this happens, I think. We move on with life but in a more destructive and punishing way.

I continued to abuse my body and myself with drinking, partying, eating and men to keep myself from being myself. To keep myself from feeling anything and to keep myself from having to deal with the realities of the world.

These fucked up realities that keep women small. No matter what her body size is.

So, a woman’s body, no matter what her size, gets used and abused.

And for too long we have been made to feel as if we do not have the right to protect ourselves.

That we must just go along with the whole ridiculous notion that our bodies are only for others. That there is nothing else to us expect what the skin and muscle of our body looks like.

And, unfortunately, women can be just as cruel as men when it comes to what our bodies look like because we have been brainwashed into believing that a woman’s body is only worthwhile when it is thin and beautiful.

But as women we must come together and unite for our right to look however the hell we want to look. We must support and love each other and stand up for those who cannot stand up for themselves.

And that includes our girls. Our girls are growing up believing they are not worthy of society’s love because their body does not meet the requirement.

And, on and on it goes. One generation after the next believing they are nothing more than just a body.

But let’s go behind the body of every women and realise there is a story in there. There is a story of hurt. There is a story of love. There is a story of survival.

There is a reason why women abuse their bodies with food to make themselves larger and unattractive. Or larger to become invisible. Or larger to continue punishing themselves for being so horrible and unworthy.

But on the other end of the spectrum women abuse themselves and their bodies with too little food too. Or at the gym, slogging it out on the treadmill because getting fat is an absolute no-no. To some women getting fat would be worse than dying or getting cancer.

The idea of even an ounce of fat on our bodies has become so terrifying that women spend billions of dollars every year on diets and shakes and pills that might work for a minute but long term end up causing doing harm than good.

We constantly think about food and dieting to the point of mental exhaustion.

I, for one, became so mentally exhausted from thinking about my body and my weight all the time I almost had a breakdown. And I say almost because I was so in control (in a bad way) that I could never allow myself to actually feel it and allow whatever to come through. I suppressed everything.

All of the hurt. All of the hate. All of everything.

My body was my life. My body and what it looked like took over my whole existence.

I was nothing more than a girl, then a women, in a fat body.

My fat body defined me. It made decisions about my life. It controlled my thoughts, my feelings. My fat body held the real me back from living my truest, most beautiful life.

But when I got to the point of mental exhaustion I decided enough was enough and my fat body was no longer going to control me.

I made the decision to LOVE my body. As it was right then. And then every moment beyond that.

Do I wish my body was not wobbly with cellulite and varicose veins? Yep. But I can’t live my life wishing them away. Because then all I’m doing is wishing my life away. I am missing out on LIVING.

And, honestly, I think if I had that so-called perfect body then I probably wouldn’t appreciate it as much as I did. I may not love it the way that I do.

This body has birthed 2 babies. This body has taken me around the world. This body has carried me through a tough life, a good life, a fun life.

It has been there for me every single moment of every single day. It has wanted nothing but the best for me. It has worked hard for me without me even knowing what it is doing.

Inside and underneath all of the skin and muscles is a body rooting for me to feel amazing. To feel healthy. To feel ALIVE.

We really do not give our bodies enough credit for all it does for us. We abuse our bodies and punish our bodies instead. But your body is like your mum. Not matter what you throw at her, she will always love you back. She might have to give you a stern talking to every now and again but the love never fades. Your mum always does more for you than you realise. Than you notice.

But don’t appreciate.

So, it’s time, beautiful.

To love and appreciate your body as it is right now.

To take a few moments every day to tell your body how much you love it.

That you will learn how to show your appreciation. That you will stop punishing it. That you will understand what it does for you each and every day.

So, beautiful woman.

Here is your power move for this week.

Great a piece of paper, a journal, notebook, tablet. And write down the answers to these questions.

What are you going to start doing today to love and appreciate your body?

2 or 3 things will be a wonderful start. You don’t want to overwhelm yourself to the point where you give up.

Now answer, What are you going to STOP doing so you are able to love and appreciate your body?

Again, begin with only 2 or 3 things. You could write down a whole list if you like but then only pick 2 or 3 from the list you know you can do.

Thank you so much for listening, beautiful. This really is a dream come true for me.

I spent so much of my life being quiet, not speaking up, staying small that I forgot I have a voice worth listening to.

You may not always agree with what I say and that’s ok.

This is a conversation between us. Yes, I have lots to say but I also want to hear what you have to say.

So, leave me a comment, email me your thoughts, get in touch and let me know what conversations you’d like to have.

But before you go, I have a gift for you. I created 5 steps to loving your body AND creating your ideal weight naturally just for you, Beautiful.

To receive my gift, please pop on over to the home page of my website lovebody.com.au, leave your details and this awesome book will arrive in your inbox ASAP.

Inside you’ll find 5 steps to help you raise love in your whole body and your mind. You deserve to feel amazing and this simple, yet effective, guide will do just that. With nutrition, movement, your LOVE story, the when effect and forgiveness all supporting you as you begin to raise love within yourself again.

If you loved this episode, please share it with your friends and family.

Please remember, it’s time to start cultivating, nurturing and raising love within yourself.
Because, you are a smart, amazing, beautiful woman with so much to offer this world.

Continue raising love. Speak soon.