What happens when what you want isn’t coming fast enough?

For me it’s the feeling of being a failure. Am I doing it right? Am I good enough? Why can’t I just do it? What is wrong with me?

So many panicky questions fill my head.

Putting myself out there with my writing for the world to see came with a gazillion questions about whether or not it’s the right thing to do, am I wasting my time etc etc.

Even when it feels right there is that voice in our head that shows up with a bag full of negativity and dumps it all over the floor right at our feet and says “look. Here are all the reasons why you shouldn’t be doing this”.

And, we believe them. We believe every single word they tell us. As if they know better than we do.

Why do we do that?

It’s simple really. But not, all at the same time.

Our minds have not progressed since we became humans. They evolved enough to get us to the humans we still are today but that part of our mind has not changed. It is our protector. Its job is to keep us safe. Safe from other tribes, safe from being attacked and eaten by predators and safe from wandering too far away from what we know in case something bad is out there waiting to harm us.

There was a big bad world undiscovered so the best thing to do was to stay put. Stay in what was familiar and comfortable. Thankfully, though, there were those that dared to go beyond what was known. Sometimes things turned to shit but mostly for those willing to take the risk it paid off. If it didn’t then society would be very different to what we know today. We’d all still be living in caves too sacred to venture out past the safety zone.

But that safety zone still exists. It is an invisible force within us helping to keep us safe and comfortable. Though, this isn’t the help we need in order to push out of that safety zone and into the life we truly desire.

One thing we really all need to recognise is that this safety zone can be overridden. It can be broken. It can be tentatively stepped out of and actually feel good doing it. Maybe not at first but the ability we all have as humans to live beyond what our minds inspire to protect us from is so much more powerful.

We hold so much power inside of us that we either don’t recognise it or we give it away to others or we only utilise a teeny tiny amount of it.

I used to believe that I was what I was and there was no way I could ever change it. Then a voice inside me one day, a few years ago, told me otherwise. It said I have the power inside of me to change anything I don’t like. That I CAN be everything that I desire to be. I am not stuck with the shitty person I believed I was for she is not the real me.

We all have this voice inside of us. I call it my Loving Voice and I have given her a name and an identity. She is a part of me. She IS me. Her name is Livvy. She is the part of me that wants nothing but the best for me. She does not try to talk me out of anything. She believes that if I want to do it then I am more than capable of finding a way to make it happen.

See, inside of us, there are many voices. There is what we usually call the Ego, there is your inner voice (your guide, spirit, soul etc) and then there is you. Human you. And maybe some others. I am pretty sure I have a few more inside of me. The Me’s from lives past. They all have identities as well. Saskia is my ego and then there is Adrienne. Adrienne is from one of my past lives. I know this may sound a little nuts to some of you reading this but that’s how it is for me. I have all of these parts of me I can rely on when I need them.

This brings us back to the original question. “What happens when what you want isn’t coming fast enough?”

The ideas, the inspiration, the want. It is all there inside of you ready to come to life. It is ready to bring itself into your world. The shitty thing is when we want something we want it NOW. We want it to manifest itself into reality the moment we think about it.

If only it was that easy. But would that be any fun?

Because, in all honesty, it isn’t the end result we are looking for. Even though we totally believe it is. Why wouldn’t we want the big house, the money in the bank, the dream job? They’re what we want, so give them to me, please. NOW!

I completely believed this too. I have had all of these things that I wanted (and I most certainly have received the majority of them) but yet I suffocated the want by holding on too tightly. It was only when I let go, even just a little bit, that they came to me. It was when I knew what I wanted but my focus was elsewhere that I opened up the channel for the universe to flow them into my life. The block was gone.

I still had doubts about myself and I still hated myself but there was something deeper that allowed it all to come to me. Something I wasn’t aware of until only about 2 years ago. Livvy.

Amongst all of the craziness that was going around inside of me, she was there giving me little pushes in the right direction, little whispers in my ear that guided me to the right next step.

So, now that I want more (and we always want more. It is a completely natural human thing for us to do) I understand that they will come to me. Not right now but in their own time. Sometimes they aren’t meant to arrive for a couple of years, sometimes they can arrive very quickly. They may not arrive in a neat box, tied up with ribbon. It may arrive in a squished-up parcel bag with a few tears in it but it’s yours now. It might even arrive in a horse-drawn carriage with a foot-person delivering it on a silk pillow all wrapped in gold paper and diamonds. The point is you never, EVER know how your want will arrive to you.

But the arrival mustn’t be what you are waiting for. Don’t spend your life sitting at your front window watching the street with eyes flicking back and forth anxiously looking out for its arrival. Where’s the fun in that?

The real part of the want is all the stuff in between. The want presents itself, you get on with your life, have lots of fun, then boom…it arrives.

None of that bullshit in the middle. The crappy thoughts, the shitty feelings. Your ego dumping out its bag of reasons why it isn’t possible for you to have what you want. Because it is possible. Your want is possible.

And, all of those feelings and thoughts about not being good enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, rich enough, loved enough, worthy enough, young enough, old enough, happy enough, from the right family, from the right part of town, not capable enough…

They are all bullshit. Because you are. You are all of it. You are worthy of your want, otherwise, the want wouldn’t be yours.

We hold ourselves back too much. Because, why? All of the above. And more. That is your ego dumping that on you. But remember, you have the power inside of you to deny all of that and realise there is more to you than what your ego is telling you. Listen to your Loving Voice and see what she has to say. I’ll bet it is more loving than you have ever heard from anyone.

Everything I have put my efforts into over the last few years as I have brought Love Body Woman to life has been met with that same bullshit. I listened, for a while. I believed it, for a while. Now I don’t because now I know better. When I need true guidance Livvy is the one to bring the truth to me. When I don’t listen to her, things aren’t so good. I want them to be good. So I listen. I listen, learn and love.

What is it that you are wanting? What is stopping you from getting it? Are you holding on too tightly? Are listening to all the bullshit dumped at your feet? It’s not true. The only thing you need to believe in is you. It is right there inside of you. Everything you need. Listen to the woman within, learn who you truly are and love every single part of yourself again. It is easy. It is possible. Allow it. Bring it.

Remember…